Do I have to have a funeral service?

Everyone’s situation is different, and everyone has a different idea of what “a funeral” means. You can choose to do what feels right to you – here are some ideas of how to navigate making those decisions.

Grief needs somewhere to go

When somebody dies it’s natural to feel grief, as well as many other emotions. A funeral service provides the time and place to express grief and find (as well as offer) support. That opportunity to connect with others and make space to say goodbye can be essential for the healthy processing of grief.

While there are lots of common experiences of grief, your experience of death is as different as each individual. There are so many ways to have a “funeral”. We can help you find the way the right way for you.

So, basically: no

There are so many options. Here are just a handful of examples:

• An informal gathering of family or friends at home, with the deceased present in their casket (open or closed), concluding with the deceased departing for cremation with Mary or Stu
• A direct cremation with a memorial service to follow at a favourite place, like the pub, RSA or sports club
• A service at a venue like a town hall or Old St Paul’s, lead by a professional celebrant
• A religious service at your place of worship followed directly afterwards by a smaller gathering at the graveside or crematorium for final prayers and blessings
• A family gathering at the crematorium chapel with a short and simple, non-religious service lead by Stu or Mary
• A graveside service (yes, even in Wellington weather) led by a minister or celebrant
• A small gathering at our funeral home on Tinakori Road to play music, share memories and draw on the casket, then carrying your loved one to the hearse to be taken onward to the crematorium by Stu or Mary

Our advice is: talk to us about how to arrange what’s best for you and your whānau.

No matter what kind of goodbye you need or want, we always treat you and your loved one with respect and care.